This May Not Be For You

If you think barfing stories are funny, read on. If not, then you should probably move on with your blog stalk.

I'm on my way to work today and exactly 1 1/4 miles away from my exit when, uh oh, I don't feel so good. My mouth started filling with saliva and I kept thinking, breathe, breathe, you'll make it to the exit. I made it to the exit, but didn't quite make it out of the car, or even close to out of the car.

I put my hand over my mouth, which now I realize was stupid because one hand can't catch much of anything when it's in a bodily fluid form. I was wearing sunglasses and somehow, I had my hand at the exact right angle to target the stuff right up into the spot between your face and the sunglasses. Yep, all over my face. ALL. OVER. In my eyes and everything. If that is not disgusting enough, it kept coming and got all over my pants, the steering wheel, the carpet, the stick shift, and even some splatters on the windshield and side window.

I was in complete shock. When I realized what had happened I panicked because in less than one hour I had a VERY important meeting, with VERY important people, which I had requested and planned and was supposed to facilitate and now I was completely covered in my breakfast and maybe some of dinner from the night before. Don't know, I couldn't really tell.

I started to head home to change and I was freaking out because I knew I didn't have time to change, clean the car, and get to my meeting in time. My mom came to the rescue and met me at home while I changed and she took me back to work. Yes, the car had to sit for several hours in this condition. I HAD NO CHOICE! And I did make it back in time for my meeting.

I was so mad because I actually got ready today and was wearing brand new maternity jeans that actually didn't look ridiculous on me. The jeans are now soaking in my tub while I am at work. Sick, I don't want to face it when I get home.

There is a silver lining to this story though. This afternoon I was able to take my car into Supersonic to get it shampooed and everything. Which by the way, super embarassing when you're like, "Um, can you clean these seats really well because someone puked on them." I didn't really feel bad for the guy when I got the bill though. Sheesh. (Praying Seth doesn't ask how much it cost) We had an accident with some jam about a year ago (I know, what's wrong with us??) but it got all hard and crusty and I could never get it out. A big thanks to Supersonic, who I really consider Super, got it out. AND they got out all of the grease marks from everytime Seth has put his bike in the back seat. Our car looks like NEW on the inside. Still can't say much for the outside though. Man, that car has issues. Or more like, WE have issues.

The only comparable vomit story I have for this is what my family affectionately calls, The Barf Slide. The title might be self explanatory, but I'll give a short explanation as this is a very long post. Taylor was sick one night and got up to go to the bathroom, she was about to enter the hall when she lost it. It kept coming so she had to get to the bathroom, she stepped into the hall which is hardwood and BAM! slipped and landed right in her own barf. The BAM! and the cry that came out of her after woke up everyone in the house.

Hopefully those who kept reading this far have a strong gag reflex and were able to finish! Sorry!